I’m not sure what resonates more–the mind-blowing portraits by Amy Sherald, or the inspiration behind the Georgia-born and Baltimore-based artist’s work.:

The scope of my experiences involving race materialized from my upbringing in the south. While attending private schools and being one of two or three black children, I was raised to be conscious of how I acted, spoke and dressed. This performing aspect of my identity was cultivated from the beginning of my schooling. I learned this was the key to my social acceptance and assimilation. Drawing from these experiences, I am engaging from a personal perspective with the desire to extrapolate meaning on how identity is both constructed and performed within political, social, economic and cultural spheres.”

The Fairest of the Not So Fair

Grand Dame Queenie

They Call Me Redbone, But I’d Rather Be Strawberry Shortcake

Madame Noire

Welfare Queen

Check out more of Amy Sherald’s work here!

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Oscar de la Renta is now available to (sorta) graciously announce your wedding, dinner party or girls’ night out. For a small fee, he will even say “thank you” in the ridiculously stylish way that only he can. Through Paperless Post, that is. The famed designer just released a line of wedding invitations, save-the-date cards, stationery and general entertaining invitations. I’m really stanning for Patchwork Tweed II, shown here, in blue. Kinda makes Evite look like Windows 95, huh? I took some of you, wayyy back with that one.

Anyhoo, Paperless Post and Oscar (cause we’re on a first-name basis) will deliver your cards digitally, or print them for snail mail. Check out more of his elegant genius here.

Speaking of elegant, I can’t possibly speak of it and not share one of my fave essays of all time, On Elegance by Lauren Cerand. Seriously, I read it at least once a month, and it never ceases to inspire and d@mn near move me to tears. My favorite excerpts:

I have a theory that elegant people have an aura of impenetrable private sadness, and that good taste and impeccable manners are life’s consolation.

And:

Elegance is survival.

And finally:

Elegance is acceptance, often when all has ended in disappointment. There is always an opportunity to transcend, and move beyond, limiting circumstances. Cut your losses, mind your manners, and, if possible, leave the country.

And speaking of post, does digital stationery violate like all 2,147 of Emily Post’s rules on etiquette?

How do you feel about digital stationery? 

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Spoiler alert: The following list of natural and organic ingredients for DIY hair care has the potential to turn you into a certified ingredients junkie. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Vegetable Butters for DIY Hair Care

(via Natural Beauty Workshop)

These rich, creamy butters can be used to moisturize and condition hair. They are especially effective when used in deep conditioning masks and treatments. Vegetable butters are also great for soothing dry, itchy scalps. Vegetable butters are great for use in cold processed shampoo bars too! Add one of these creamy butters to your shampoo formulations to provide extra conditioning properties.

• Cupuacu Butter
• Mururmuru Butter
• Organic Nilotica Shea Butter

Carrier Oils for DIY Hair Care

There are a multitude of Carrier Oils that can be beneficial to hair care, but these are the cream of the crop. Carrier oils can be used in their pure form as hair oil, or they can be worked into formulations such as pomades, conditioners, or even shampoos. Try blending several of your favorites together to create custom oil treatments, scalp massage blends, or hair serums.

• Acai Berry Oil
• Amla Oil
• Argan Oil
• Baobab Oil
• Black Cumin Seed Oil
• Brazil Nut Oil
• Broccoli Seed Oil
• Buriti Fruit Oil
• Camellia Seed Oil
• Chilean Hazelnut Oil
• Egg Oil
• Green Coffee Oil
• Jojoba, Natural
• Manketti Oil
• Marula Oil
• Meadowfoam Seed Oil
• Oat Oil
• Organic Prickly Pear Seed Oil
• Passionfruit Seed Oil
• Pequi Oil
• Vegetable Squalene

Get the full scoop on herbs, extracts and more over at The Natural Beauty Workshop!

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I could have really used this flask masquerading as an iPhone in college for tailgating and Dave Matthews concerts. Nonetheless, it’s  a great way for a lady to have her libations and still look like a lady. That is, if you don’t think it’s terribly unladylike to drink from a headphone jack.

iFlask Features

• Holds 5oz of your favorite beverage
• Extremely discreet design
• Polycarbonate and stainless steel frame
• Includes a collapsible funnel

The iFlask even has a bottle opener on the back for your drinking convenience.

When I come across clever products like this, I always wonder about the motivation behind the product. According to iFlask founders:

Well first its super cool, Duh!! But it’s a great conversation starter. Its super discrete, and it will make you the talk of the town … The iFlask makes it just that much more nonchalant so you can walk around not looking like THAT guy. 

Or gal. Go getcha one here!

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The next best time to plant a tree is now.

I know that Chines proverb is supposed to motivate one to action, but I think it’s quite depressing. What is more dreadful than wasted time?

Although just as effective, I prefer Karen Lamb’s not so alarmist take on the same sitchy: “A year from now you may wish you had started today.”

I wish I had cut out the mid-afternoon snacking a year ago. Perhaps I would feel better about the impending swimsuit season.

I could go on but it’s such a slippery slope.

What do you wish you had started a year ago? Will you start it today?

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So that I can have the privilege of throwing on my wellies, running out into the rain and snipping a few of these beauties. Nothing like it.

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She was in her late eighties at the time, but had an unapologetic fondness for good liquor for as long as I could recall. I think Grandma Beck would have loved this recipe, and even the anticipation of waiting for it to mature. As a country girl through and through, she would have also loved being outside while making it.

Backyard Blackberry Cordial

Ingredients

• 4 cups of fresh blackberries
• 2 cups sugar (I used raw cane sugar)
• 1 quart of vodka

Set up a table or working surface outside in an area with good sunlight. Clean the berries and place into a large, sterile glass jar.

Next, pour the sugar into the jar.

Finally, pour in the vodka.

And stir the ingredients.

Mark the lid with the date of your mixture, and then store in a dark, cool place. Shake the jar vigorously weekly.

After 6 – 8 weeks, strain and decant.

The cordial should be ready in time to serve for Memorial Day if you play your cards right. You can serve it straight, or mixed with club soda or sprite. You could even mix it with another liquor like brandy or rum. I bet it would be just divine drizzled over vanilla ice cream as well. Mercy!

Okay, so what to do while waiting for the mixture to mature into a delectable, inky treat? Get your garden in order, of course! This weekend I’m planting a blackberry bush (surprise, surprise), blueberries and a fig tree. Next weekend I’ll tackle the usual summer veggies and herbs.

What’s going on in your garden? Are you a fan of cordials and liqueurs? Who will you be thinking of this Memorial Day?

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Any road trips planned for the summer?

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The Mexican Fisherman

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while.”

The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?

The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.

The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

What do you want from life? Is that what you’re really working towards?

If that story inspired you, check out The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Truly one of the best books ever written.

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Bourbon Brown Sugar Bacon

First, I placed the bacon on a slotted baking tray with a pan underneath to catch the drippings. I lined the pan with tin foil to make clean up a little easier. Next, I drizzled three capfuls of bourbon over the bacon, and then sprinkled with brown sugar. I baked on 350 F for 8 – 10 minutes, and then was struck with the bright idea to broil the bacon so that the brown sugar would caramelize into a crunchy coating.

I turned away for a bit to watch Mad Men–I’m trying to get caught up so that I’ll be ready for the Season 6 premier on April 7.  Hot d@mn, it looks good!

But back to the bacon.

I was so wrapped up in Don Draper that I forgot about it, and it burned a little.

But it was still mighty tasty with homestyle potatoes and eggs over easy.

Are you a Mad Men fan? Will you be watching the season premier?

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You: Why is she pairing a cooking ingredient with a cosmetics ingredient?
LisaLise: Because these 2 work real well together in a hand and body cleansing kind of way.

You’ll need:

• Cheesecloth (or ready-made organza bags)
• Cotton string
• Raw Oats
• Quality Soap of choice
• Lise’s easy-peasy tutorial

Thank me later.

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Enjoy more whiskey p()rn here, and learn more about Kings County Distillery and where you can get your hands on the duo’s award-winning moonshine and bourbon here.

Makes me want to stop procrastinating and get going on my Blackberry Cordial Recipe (more on that later).

[Hat tip Joshua Newman]

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…Houston we have a problem. Sure, I clean up from time to time, but a coupla days later we’re back to this. If you could look inside my head, I’m pretty sure this is exactly what it would look like–a jumble of scribbled notes, clips from here and there and more random randomness.

For the time being, I’m just going to let my office, and my mind, for that matter, do what it do.

Where is your special place?

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From 2001 to 2004, UCLA researchers observed the lives of 32 dual-income middle-class families from Los Angeles. Conflict arose more often among couples with ambiguously defined clear as mud expectations of each other. On the contrary, partners with clearly defined domestic roles were more likely to feel appreciated and respected for their contributions to the household. This conversation from one of the couples interviewed in the study sums it up nicely:

Travis: I mean, she’s no—she’s not a saint in terms of keeping the place clean and, uh, fixing stuff or—she doesn’t fix anything.

Alice: No, but I cook meals. I just can’t do it all. I don’t. But I made you dinner tonight.

Travis: That’s good.

Alice: There you go. I’m no saint, but I just can’t do everything. I can’t buy all the groceries, cook the dinner—

Travis: I know, but just for the—don’t you think that there’s—you know that little board we have on the refrigerator?

Alice: Mm hmm.

Travis: Why don’t you use that and, like, say, like, um, write me notes?

Alice: [I don’t want to.

Travis: [Number one, dishwasher. Number two, rain gutter.

Alice: To be honest with you, I don’t want to have to tell you to do stuff. I want you to figure out that the—that the dishwasher needs to be—that you need to figure it out that the dishwasher needs to be—

Travis: I did. Did you ask me to fix the dishwasher, or did I?

Alice: No, you ordered a part, and then six months went by and we don’t know what happened to it. I don’t want to be, like, micro-managing you. Anyway, that’s a whole other story.

Just reading that makes my right eye twitch. The resentment and frustration are palpable.

Although it’s taken years and tears (mine) to get here, the Mister and I are at a mostly happy place of expectations regarding household management. In a nutshell, I handle any and all things stemming from the needs of The Baby Kittens. The Mister, on the other hand, deals in the dirtier matters of taking out the trash, unclogging toilets, yard work and the like. This balance of tasks has worked out just fine, but now the girls are approaching the pre-teen years.

They have crowned themselves the Queens of All Inexperienced Know-It-Alls, and have proclaimed that their Dad and I are the biggest @$$holes in the world. I’m paraphrasing, of course, but you get the point. Getting the muck out of the garbage disposal isn’t looking too bad these days. I may need to sit down with the Mister and renegotiate our terms. Happy wife, happy life, yes?

How are chores decided in your household? Read more about the study here.

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